Anger, Jealousy

 

Anger, Jealousy

Gajaraj Swamigal: Jealousy, anger, suffering why do they occur?

Sage Agastya: Let us start with jealousy as the first topic. Why does jealousy occur? Whom does one become jealous of? How much jealousy is manifested? How does it grow? Let us see.

When a person compares oneself to another person or situation, and then sees himself as inadequate; and does not have the strength to bear that, such a state is jealousy.

 Why does jealousy occur? Whenever man fails to find satisfaction with what he has, and wants more, then he develops desire. It is natural to have desire. However, when a person feels the lack of something in himself that is present on a larger scale in another, and is unable to gain that for himself, then he becomes jealous of the person who possesses it. Usually jealousy arises because of property, happiness, money, material, fame, and status.

When a person has less of something than another, such a person starts getting jealous of the person and aspires to become better or richer than the other. When a third person refers to the bounties of the other, and makes the person feel slighted, then jealousy increases.

This may occur between parents and children, siblings, friends, or couples. When anger and pride combine with jealousy, then it may lead to dire situations. During such disputes and fights people may even go to the extent of taking a life.

How can we fight jealousy? When comparing oneself to another, one thing needs to be remembered. What does it matter how someone else is? We must feel happy for another’s fortune - be it emotional or material.

Understand that there is no connection between your situation and the situation of others. Remember this: What one has in terms of materials, name, status are all dependent on one’s behavior, talent, or situation. If there is some shortfall over all this, one must consider this as something to do with one’s karma. To fight jealousy, one must seek help from your Guru or the God you worship.

Anger

Let us take a look at what anger is, why does one become angry, and how it is expressed.

A situation that is uncontrollable, or unbearable leads to anger. When someone’s words or actions are not acceptable to another, then that state is known as anger. A simple example: when a mother gets angry with her child, it is because of something wrong done by the child.

How does anger occur?

If one does not like a particular event, then it creates anger. If that is not forgotten, anger grows into a fire as time passes. If such events does not occur frequently, then the anger increases in stages. At one stage, when one is not able to control it, it is expressed. At such a time anger is expressed in actions like scolding, criticism, fights, and even killing.

Anger against whom?

Who is the anger against? Between a husband and wife, between parents and children, between oneself and friends, between oneself and outsiders, or sometimes, it may occur because of something that is not even connected to the person in question.

Suffering

Sage Agastya: What is suffering? Why does it occur? Where does it take us? Something that is not to our liking or something that we cannot bear, brings suffering.

Consider whether the suffering affects the body, heart, or mind? If there is disability in the body, or there is a deficiency in beauty, or if there is disease, it brings suffering to the body.

If there is sadness, it causes pain to the heart. Suffering of the mind may be caused by unfulfilled desires, criticism, unrequited love or owing to an unforeseen test. Suffering may also occur over something that is anticipated but fails to occur. Like this, many are the situations in life that cause pain and suffering!

It is not right to suppress the pain in your heart, yet it is also not right to not express pain all the time. Do not subject yourself to psychosis and exhibit a sad face all the time. Speaking emotionally or acting without enthusiasm creates disturbance not only in oneself but also others around you.

If you do not express your pain, others will not know why you are in pain, and it will always remain as a question. Because of this, you will have no peace and those around you will have no peace either. Consider if you want this type of life?

The most commonly known example is that of the man who cries because he does not have the means to buy a pair of shoes. It is only when he sees another without feet, that he realizes that having feet in itself is a great blessing!

 What does one need to do to have a healthy body and peaceful mind?

·         Clean and tidy place to live.

·         Peaceful coexistence with nature.

·         Consumption of naturally grown food.

·         Refraining from excess in terms of how we obtain what we want; the extent and how we experience it.

The mind always has a combination of desire, intention, sweetness, bitterness, happiness, and sadness. Those that harbor only good thoughts and perform good actions will always have a balanced state of mind. In addition, no types of weaknesses will bother one who believes in God and surrenders himself at God’s feet and spends his time in higher contemplation.